I told myself today is the day I’m going to get out of my bed and off my computer and go running. I put on a sports bra and workout clothes and I realized I was hungry so I heated up thai food, and now it’s been 3 hours and I’m laying in my bed on my computer in workout clothes. Is this what they meant when they said it’s okay to take baby steps to exercise?
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Human nature is a weird, complex thing. We want to be different from everybody else and fit in at the same time. How the hell do we do that?
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Among the most satisfying of feelings is the triumph experienced when you finally caught Abra in Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow/Gold(?)/Silver(?).
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How does Simba manage to be so sexy? He’s a cartoon lion.
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Dear tongue, you are one resilient motherfucking body part. I burn you horribly with a scalding hot drink and then you hurt and then you are better in like, a day, so I do it again and you burn and heal again with no repercussions that are visible at least. You’re a badass, so I guess thanks.
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I strongly feel that people on the Internet take themselves too seriously.
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There has also been a loud concert fundraiser in the parking lot right outside my apartment since 10AM and at first I thought it was overwhelmingly intrusive and then I tried dancing in front of the mirror to the music and at least agreed with myself that this kind of thing is unique and definitely wouldn’t happen in Yorba Linda. Then then MC said there are rootbeer floats for $1 and I peeked through my window blinds to see if it was really true but the window is so close to the parking lot that everyone saw me and I felt like the intrusive one.
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Actually Dimitri from Anastasia is probably sexier than Simba, and I think that’s okay because he’s still a cartoon, but he’s a cartoon person.
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I just want the human equivalent of Dimitri from Anastasia, is that too much to ask? Flynn Rider from Tangled would also work.
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News radio in the car in the morning feels like a serrated knife cutting through my brain again and again.
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So does this concert music outside my apartment, the performers are getting steadily worse and worse throughout the day and after they perform they try to give everyone life inspiration to achieve their dreams but telling me to not be afraid to achieve my dreams is something that hasn’t really helped me. I’m also skeptical of the validity of their advice because have they even achieved their own dreams yet (they are still performing in a parking lot outside my apartment).
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I want to go to space before I die. Can the Make a Wish Foundation hook something like that up?
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Twenties are terrifying. We are terrified of the lack of structure it offers us because we are so used to structure. I will soon write a blog post about this.
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I think I’m best-friend traumatized.
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Stop posting pictures of food on facebook. Also what movies you’re about to watch and second-by-second updates of your day. Everyone should try to contribute to the internet in a unique way.
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I’m now developing an irresistible urge to run outside, grab the microphone, sing the first line of Alicia Keys’ “Fallin’” (Iiii keep on fallin’, iiii-i-i-in-nnnn-nnn and out of love”) and then run away. I have slaved over that riff for days and I need to test it somewhere.
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There is no good way to end this post, so here is a pixelated image of a goat brought to you by the Spanish Goat Association.
I can’t figure out if this organization is real or not but after doing some research it appears that the Spanish Goat Association isn’t fucking around. They are dead serious about their mission to “preserve the Spanish goat gene pool by increasing the availability of Spanish goats and by educating goat breeders of the benefits of raising Spanish goats. We also provide a forum for contact with Spanish goat breeders.”
I guess we all find our niche in the world.
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