Thinking about it, a lot of stuff in my life has made the switch from "functioning-at-the-most-basic-level-possible" to "wow-this-could-almost-pass-as-something-a-real-person-owns".
Last year in Berkeley, I lived in a sad box-like apartment in which five fully-grown people attempted to share one tiny bathroom. We didn't have a couch, so I sat on the floor if I wanted to eat food or contemplate my life choices. In terms of kitchen cutlery, we owned two knives, one spoon and no forks. Truly, this was adult life at its most primitive level.
My new apartment life is dramatically improved from last year, but with great power comes great responsibility. Here is how I view these new adult-like things.
Thing: Own Room and Own Bathroom
For the first time since high school, I have my very own room. Add to that my own closet and bathroom and I am swimming in a sea of abundance.
Pros:
- I can walk around naked in a significantly larger space than I could before.
- My bed is large enough to fit both me and
a bunch of clothes/dirty dishes/self-help booksanother person in it.
- I am responsible for turning a greater number of light switches on and off.
- My bathroom has not been fully cleaned since I moved in five months ago.
Thing: Advanced Kitchen Cutlery
It is slightly disorienting to go from being forced to cook all of my food in the microwave to suddenly having access to three blenders, two toasters, and even a juicer.
Pro:
If the desire arose, I could make three different kinds of smoothies at the same time.
Con:
The desire hasn't arisen yet.
Thing: Grown Up Roommates
Last year, I lived with an eighteen year old girl who hadn't been to college and contemplated voting for Mitt Romney because "the economy is bad right now". Now I live with friends who have full-time jobs and sound morals.
Pros:
- They are great sources of wisdom and emotional support.
- My roommate's ten-year plan for his life is something I can aspire to create one day.
Cons:
- They are less likely to agree to taking spontaneous shots of vodka with me on a Tuesday night.
- My roommate's ten-year plan for his life mostly just serves as a depressing reminder that I don't even have a one-year plan for mine.
Thing: More Impressive Groceries
Last year, I would walk over to Trader Joe's once every two weeks to buy eggs, milk, spinach, pita bread, yogurt, and wine. Like... this is basically all I ate in terms of groceries the entire year. Now, as you can see from the picture, everything is different now.
Pros:
- I'm saving money by preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day.
- Being able to casually tell people "Oh yes, I assemble the whole salad myself; so much better than that pre-packaged nonsense" gives me a feeling of superiority over others.
- I spent $85 on the things pictured above so I'm not sure if I am actually saving money by buying groceries.
- My arms hurt from carrying all of these things from my car to my apartment.
Over the course of the first year following undergrad, I somehow managed to find temporary work at two of the most generous non-profits in the history of existence. At the first job, my supervisor let me sleep on her office floor if I was hungover and we all got free iPads. The second job paid me $17/hour for googling and printing things out. At my new job working on a political campaign, I will get fired if I do not raise $750 a week from harassing random people in the street. It is tough but it makes me a better adult.
Pros:
- I can feel like I'm working on things that are actually important instead of just browsing Facebook all day.
- I'm now relevant enough to make it on my organization's website! Although 75% of that is probably racial and gender tokenization, but that's all right.
Cons:
- I can no longer just browse Facebook all day.
- Many rich/poor/conservative/racist/or just straight up insane people yell at me daily for destroying the future of America. But that's a post for another time.
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