Calamity in the Castro and the Most Responsible Person I've Ever Met

So far, the new year had been going great.  

On Day 1, I went to the grocery store AND the bank.

On Day 2, I attempted exercise, read part of a book, and even scheduled a doctor's appointment!

I am going to grow up so much this year, I thought smugly to myself.  I was making mature decisions.  I was becoming a responsible, self-reliant, and effective human being. 

On Day 3, everything fell apart.

It started when I made the impulsive decision after work to accompany my roommate to the Castro.  For those who do not know, this is a neighborhood in San Francisco that is one of the largest and most always eventful gay districts in the country.  It did not take us long upon arriving to immediately consume large amounts of Hennessy and run down the street belting Dreamgirls.

I was so caught up in my soulful ballad that several people stopped to watch and one even generously contributed a few stage props as to greater enhance my musical performance.

I kind of wish I could just wear this on a day to day basis

Then we remembered we were supposed to be dancing in clubs, not on the street, so we bid farewell to our new friends and began our traditional Castro route through the gay bars. 

We were having a wonderful time creating memories that would last approximately twenty minutes when I put my hand in my purse and realized that

my 
phone 
was 
not 
there.  

Anyone who has shared this experience knows that this is one of the most terrifying feelings that can be felt.  Please no, let it be a lie.  We called my phone.  It went straight to voicemail. Someone had taken it.  

Angrily, we texted my phone demanding that it be returned.

LIFE IS GOING TO KILL YOU AND THEN KILL YOU AGAIN.

But it was ineffective.

Despite our most intimidating threats (they were the best we could come up with given our current mental state), the thief was not subdued into repentance.  The rest of the night was danced extremely half-heartedly. 

On Day 4 of the new year, I trudged to the Verizon store.  The employee informed me I did not have any upgrades and recommended I purchase a used phone from the interwebs.

The last time I searched for a thing on Craigslist, it did not go so well.  But part of adulthood is about maintaining a positive attitude, so I thought "fuck it" and started messaging the iPhone holders of Northern California. 
___________________________

Me: Hi! Is your Verizon iPhone 4 still for sale?

Oakland iPhone Holder: Yes.

Me: Great! Is it your old phone? or where did you get it

Oakland iPhone Holder: You need to call me now

I don't
Trust google voice.
If you want to buy this iphone, you must call
Me 

Now

CALL NOW

Me: whoa! i don't have access to a phone right now. 
i lost mine last night, that's why i want to buy one.  
Is this your old phone? 

Oakland iPhone Holder: Yes

Me: How long have you had it? 

Oakland iPhone Holder: Too many question. 

___________________________

There are some people that just exude a vibe of shadiness, and these characters are plentiful on Craigslist.  But finally, I found someone who agreed to meet me in Emeryville and had an acceptable grasp of the English language.

___________________________

Proper Grammar iPhone Holder: Great. Please bring the exact amount of cash. 
Also, I will be there in jeans, blue shirt, grey sweater. 

Me: Okay sounds good. I will be short and Asian.

___________________________

From my past experience, I guess I expected the guy to look roughly like this: 

But to my surprise, this is who actually met me at the Verizon store: 

I would soon find out that this man would quickly gain the title of the most responsible person I've ever met.

I showed up ten minutes early to our meeting place, thinking I'd have plenty of time to wait for him to get there.  Nope.
Responsiblest was already there.

"I've had this phone for a year, and I still have the original box with the instruction manual, headphones, and charger," he explained to me.  "Here is my case, three screen protectors, and a car adapter, in case you need them."  

The phone was beautiful.  The Verizon employee exclaimed that he had never seen a more pristine used iPhone before.  

"I tried to keep it in good condition," Responsiblest said with a sheepish shrug.  "What brings you to buying it?" 

"Oh... I lost my phone.  In the Castro," I said dumbly.  I paused, then added, "But the same thing happened five months ago, when I was at a club in Vegas."  As I said these words and gazed down at this man's perfectly maintained iPhone and accessories, a feeling of shame suddenly swept through me.

"Ah, I see." He said. He paused too.  "Well, I have this black case if you'd like to use it; it's pretty low-profile.  I'm not sure if you'd prefer something... flashier."

I was about to feel insulted, and then I remembered that my last two iPhone cases were neon purple.

"No, that will be fine," I mumbled.  

After he left, I remarked to the Verizon employee, "Wow. He is so responsible." 

"Yeah," he agreed. "If that's what his iPhone looks like after a year, can you imagine what his house must be like? It is probably the most well-organized, spotless house in the world."

Another employee that had been listening in shook his head slowly in amazement.  "What a guy."

------

As I walked back to my car, I mused that the state of one's iPhone really does accurately reflect one's lifestyle.  A beautiful iPhone reflects a careful and well-organized person behind it.  A cracked iPhone, not so much.  A lost (two) iPhone(s): sigh. 

 Then understanding came to me.  Being a responsible person is a lifestyle choice.

In the past, I feel like I viewed responsibility as doing a bunch of isolated responsible things, and if enough of those things are done, a few irresponsible things can be cancelled out. 

IRRESPONSIBLE KELLY used:  speeding on the highway! 
RESPONSIBLE KELLY used:  grocery buying!  house cleaning!  laundry folding!

....It was super effective!

But doing responsible things is only super effective if those things are done habitually, as an integrated part of one's life.

Responsiblest's phone is in pristine condition because Responsiblest made an ongoing commitment to keeping it that way.   My phone is not even with us today because I did not.  

Being responsible isn't something you can achieve by scheduling doctor's appointments and reading books at a rapid pace.  It's a way of living life.


I smiled at this realization as I drove out of the parking lot.  Unfortunately while doing so, I almost hit a woman on a bike with my car.  So then I bought some vegetables at Berkeley Bowl.  Buying vegetables is the exception to the Responsibility Law.  It's like the trump card of responsible things.

Yay!