The Two Kinds of Friendships and the Two Kinds of Subsequent Conversation

1. The Catch-Up Friendship

I don't know these women, I just did a google image search for friend reunion..

You might see this friend once a month, or once a year.  You love them, and when you get together you fill them in on your new relationship or reassure them that your relationship is still going well, you ask them about their job and they say it's great and they're learning a lot, and you both laugh about fun memories you had together that both of you have revisited several times in past conversations.  This is fine.

2. The Everyday Friendship

This friend is regularly in your life.  They might be your roommate, or your co-worker, but they're someone you see pretty much every day.  When you talk, you say things like "how did the date go last night?" and "omg this crazy thing happened on the way to work".  This is also fine. 

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It's interesting to think about the friend you see once in a while versus the friend you see very often.  When it's been a month since you've seen someone and they ask "How are you?", you share the big things.  Your new job, your new boyfriend.  You keep it fairly general because you're trying to cover a long period of time, so it's almost like a summary, and because you can't remember many details. So the conversation is pleasant, but not as substantial as it could have been.

Whereas when the friend you see often asks "How are you?" and the last time you saw them was two days ago, you tell them what has happened in the last two days.  You went to see Spiderman and you think it's really hipster for an action film.  You cooked salmon and almost burned down the kitchen.  You had a great conversation with a stranger at the BART.  They're specifics and they're easy to remember, and easy to respond to. 

It really was too hipster for an action film but somehow I didn't mind

So why does it matter to think of these friendships this way?  Both are fine to have, but to make the conversation with the once-a-month friend more better and more seeming like you're closer (sorry.. it's late), try remembering little things that happened so you can refer to it when they ask.  My job is great, and also this hilarious story happened two weeks ago. 

Or I guess they probably hear all about your day to day life now, because of Twitter and stuff.  Never mind social media killed my post.