What Do I Have to Lose?

^ This is my new favorite phrase, uttered boldly during a (usually somewhat intoxicated) excursion as rationale for doing something potentially unconventional (or crazy. you could also say crazy). I used to prefer YOLO until someone pointed out the acronym's other meaning, "You Only Liver Once", and the phrase's appeal was somewhat diminished. 

(Some unconventional things, however, I actually don't recommend doing no matter how fun it seems at the time, like chugging a water bottle filled with questionable liquor offered to you by a nice but nevertheless random ass stranger on the streets of Berkeley at 1AM on your birthday. Who did that? I don't know. Hmm.)

Anyway, the reason I wrote this post is to share with you a small but significant story from yesterday.  I was at a cafe with three friends and they somehow cleverly decided I should go up to the hottest guy there (a deep tanned, brown haired cutie with an A's jersey) and talk to him.  Because we're 15 years old.  But I said no, because I was shy and I don't go up to guys they go up to me!

I think a lot of girls have this mindset- it's socially not really normal for girls to go strike up a conversation with a cute guy; we expect the guy to approach us because "that's just how it is".  But, hey- why does it have to be that way?  We're just reinforcing our own stereotypes and hindering our own fight for gender equality.

After thinking most thoughtfully about this, the real clincher was when my friend challenged me with the following question: "What do you have to lose?"

What did I have to lose? Surely not my dignity, that was gone years ago when I got into a fist fight with a 40-something year old mother at the High School Musical concert over getting a better view of some Disney Channel stars. 

I was going to say this was a dark period of my life, but you know what? It was actually FUCKING AWESOME and you WISH you mastered the "We're all in This Together" dance to the extent that I did.

And if the guy wasn't into it, so what?  I wouldn't be any less guy-less than when I started out, right?

So, keeping this in mind, on our way out of the cafe I tapped the guy's shoulder (he was surround by 9 other bro-y looking ones) and when he turned around I smiled and said,

"Hey, I think you're really cute.  I just wanted to let you know!" 

He smiled slowly and said "Really?" rather more incredulously than I had anticipated. "What's your name?"

I told him and we shook hands; he held it a little bit longer than usual.  "I just wanted to pay you a compliment on my way out" I smiled and left. 

Even though I didn't stick around, I felt a sense of triumph in talking to the hottest guy at the cafe (a little bit out of my league in my opinion) and overcoming a gender norm in the process.  So to my fellow women, the next time you spot a hot guy don't just whisper to your friend about it, take control of the situation and get at that! Because, honestly,

What do you have to lose?

PS: I am SO COMPLETELY STOKED that I have 13 followers! That's a huge motherfucking deal compared to yesterday when it was just me appreciating my own posts.  I promise that I'll treat all 13 of you with reverence and I will try really hard not to let you down.